party planning

Aaah, busy busy busy. I've been at the Captain's house for the last few days planning a MASSIVE 50th birthday party for him with his wife (their family has sort of adopted me, the children won't let me leave and the captain has NO choice in the matter, sorrr). It's been so cool staying in a REAL house, one that doesn't float. I've been in my element staying here, their house is INCREDIBLE, 10 bedrooms, 20 metre swimming pool, enormouse garden with fruit and olive trees and beautiful flowers, luxurious bathrooms (with great big baths and candles and soft towels) and a sweet little fluffy pooch-um and the most beautiful kitchen with EVERYTHING in it that you could ever want. His wife and I have been shopping and cooking and baking up an absolute storm. The theme is "you are what you drink", so everyone must come as their favourite drink/cocktail/shooter (my GENIUS idea) so I've coming up with the most amazing selection of cocktails to make which I've been preparing today. But that's boring news so I'll stop there, I'm SO tired.

on (almost) buying a MacBook Air

I took the train to Nice today to just have a little look at the MacBook Air. It's SO light and SO pretty and so outrageously cool and it was only 900(and something, or nothing) Euros. I came dangerously close to buying it. I picked out the case I was going to buy with it and everything. But then I got that feeeeling, that guilty panicky feeling I get when I'm about to buy something really expensive; heart racing, short of breath, brain feeling kind of fuzzy, light headed, confused, excited, anxious, about to pass out, and then I thought to myself, you know what, crazy person, this is NOT the right state of mind to be in when you're about to make a big purchase, so put the pretty laptop bag down and tell the lovely man who think's you're an absolute WEIRDO that thank you very much but you're mentally unstable and you will be coming back another day when you've found your medication.

This has all happened because none of you have offered to donate one to me yet, but thanks anyways to all the MacBook gurus who have sent me emails with lots of Macbooky advice (much appreciated), except, well, the thing about advice is that you can't plug it in and access iTunes, or whip it out at the corner cafe and be super chic when you open it up and the little apple lights up. But it's better than a kick in the teeth (much better than a kick in the teeth, imagine being KICKED in the teeth, imagine KICKING someone in the teeth?!), so thanks, for not kicking me in the teeth and giving me advice instead.

MacBook for moi

Tell me, am I being COMPLETELY ridiculous in wanting to buy a MacBook for myself? Should I be LESS ridiculous and buy a second hand one, or is that even MORE ridiculous? I do have a cute little pink notebook that I love (and it's very convenient for travelling because it's so small and fits in my handbag), except, well, it's a bit slow and, well, it's just not a Mac and IwantaMaaaaaaaac because I'm now a fancy professional blogger and fancy professional bloggers have to have fancy Macs. Sigh. If I buy it, will I just lose it, or break it or regret buying it because it's so much heavier than my little pink one and takes up too much space, should I just solve that problem by buying the new MacBook Air (aaah, but it costs SO much money and I don't think it has a CD drive thingy, but do I really NEED one of those?).

 

This is what I'm like.

 

I need help (in more ways than one!)

If you can help, or if you have a Mac (or heaps of money) that you would like to DONATE to the Cary Mental Health Fund, then email me, carymurdoch@yahoo.com 

 ... it means have a cheese burger, in Swahili

 

TRICKED YOU

it means no worries

Bucket List: Asia

Okay, quick recap: Europe, hippy vans, India, chaat tiki chooky whatsits, harem pants and spice racks.

So, next on the list is...
ASIA (the rest of it). Purely for the purpose of buying some of these

white rabbit sweets (fav Chinese food)

and stealing one of these and selling it for millions (or just keeping it and cuddling the living daylights out of it ALL day)

I REFUSE to take it if it's not wearing the panda outfit though. So, cute Chinese kid, WEAR the damn outfit if you'd like to be stolen and sold for millions or cuddled to death, mmkay?

(totally kidding, relax)
...or aaaam I?

But on a serious note, kid, if you don't quit being so cute RIGHT now, I WILL come over there and steal you.

Talking about pandas, that reminds me. I would like to HAVE a baby panda one day.

Except, well, these little guys are just the world's biggest disappointment aren't they? Look at them, EW, totally shattered all my dreams of owning a baby panda. I WAS going to put a picture of them, but the picture was just so visually offensive that I couldn't, here's a link rather. You know how google asks you if you want to "report image"? Well, I came close. You've been warned
*ugly panda* (click there, at your own peril)

urrgh. Get it AWAY. I'm going to just buy an ENORMOUS one that can sleep in the bed with me and we can eat bamboo shoots together and be SO happy. Iwantitnooooow.

Okay, I'm being completely unrealistic and quite ridiculous, it must STOP, but OBVIOUSLY, jokes aside, I do NEED to see a panda … how could I possibly go to China and NOT see one of these little cute-ums, that would just be OUTRAGEOUS and un-thinkable! I don’t just want to SEE one of these, I want to pat one on the head and tell it I LOVE it, feed it some biscuits (or other panda treats, maybe some bamboo shoots or something else very treaty) and then leave it be (or strap it to the back of my backpack so it looks cute and people won’t think it’s real, they’ll just think he’s my fluffy, I’ll call him Fluff-ums and he can be mah FLUFFFFY, he’ll be SO fluffy you’ll wanna DIE… if you didn’t get the "Despicable Me" reference, sorrr, yes I AM very strange.

Okay, I'm gonna quit being silly now, I'd like to volunteer at a panda centre and teach English to cute Chinese kids (they must be cute though, or else, meh, naah... kidding relax!)

I want to be a complete FT and walk along the Great Wall of China and eat Chinese noodles and Chinese stuffff and use Chinese chopstiks and Chineeeese plates and Chinese cups and Chinese toilet paper (?)and Chinese EVERYTHING and ALWAYS. Sorry, I can't seem to help being ridiculous today. Let me try. I want to experience a proper tea ceremony, I want to go to Vietnam and see the Mekang Delta and shop at the markets in Hoi An, watch the Symphony of Lights in Victoria Harbour, visit some old Chinese towns, see the ruins in Macau, I have to go to Bali, and to Siem Reap and the Angkor temples in Cambodia and then Thailand, of course. Okay, there are still a million more things I want to do there, I'm going to be in Asia for a LONG time. Whoooo is coming with me?

What next... go VOTE

I've never been one for making decisions, so I'll leave it up to you and you can take FULL responsibility for whatever happens, deal? Go vote on my little poll on the right hand side of the page. Your options are...

 

1. Work as a chalet host in the Alps

(most sensible choice for my future as a MASTER chef, and I'll get to ski)

 

2. Do an Atlantic crossing to the Caribbean on a sailing yacht

(free ride to the Caribbean, I get to tell people that I CROSSED the Atlantic ocean and I get to go to the CARIBBEAN, and earn money whilst doing it... pretty cool)

 

3. Bum around Europe in a campervan

(the least sensible option, but when have I EVER been sensibe?)

 

4. Do a 2 month overland tour across Africa

(again, not very sensible but HOW cool would it be?)

Ravioli (for exceptionally talented chefs ONLY)

This, like all my recipes, is for people who are really good at cooking. As you will see, it's an extremely tricky process and requires a LOT of skill, so, unless you're like me, or Nigella or Jamie or something I suggest you just go out and buy it. BUT, if you ARE like us, then here is how you make it... (give or take... kind of)

 

on my shelf I have...

If someone were to ask me to tell them a bit about myself, there would be no need for words, I'd just send them this picture of the shelf in my little cabin and that would be enough.

This is SO typical of me, in every house, flat or hovel I've ever lived in, I've always surrounded myself with "Cary stuff". The only thing missing from this shelf if a goldfish bowl, I ALWAYS have a goldfish bowl (with a goldfish inside, obviously, not just an empty goldfish bowl, that would be silly, or wwwwould it? Maybe I could get a goldfish bowl with a FAKE goldfish...hmmm. No Cary, no) but the captain didn't think it was such a good idea, what with the boat rocking back and forth and things sliding everywhere, I offered to drill holes into the side of my cabin and secure the bowl with metal fixtures... but he was having NONE of it (howwww selfish!)

So, this is what's on my shelf and what I think it says about me.

1. Jamie Oliver cook book with post-its marking the best recipes

I'm a CHEF (pah) and I love to cook (or I just love to buy over-priced recipe books from the only English book shop in the area) 

2. A polaroid camera with a (home made) daisy chain handle

I totally waste my money on unnecessary things, and I like to make stuff

3. Pink portable ipod speakers (with matching pink ipod... oh the shame)

I'm pretty girly and I buy unnecessary accessories just because they're pink (true story)

4. Dental floss

I have BEAUTIFUL white teeth (and I'm extremely modest), no, I HATE going to the dentist so I do everything possible to avoid it.

5. Mosquito repellent

Don't even get me STARTED on this one, the mosquitos here are EVIL and they have it in for me, I'm not allowed to squash them against the fabric walls in my cabin (for obvious reasons) so they just take the piss and sit on my stupid fabric walls to TORMENT me all night long.

6. Himalaya Herbals hand cream

This is pretty silly, but it just kind of reminds me of my... ex boyfriend, he used to buy it for me when he came back from Tanzania and for some reason I still use it. And it also smells great and I just think its cool and basically I'm STILLnotoverhimGAAAH.

7. Water

I'm very healthy and I drink 20 litres a day, or it's just REALLY hot in my cabin and I'm ALWAYS thirsty.

8. My (French) white blackberry

I just couldn't have bought a black one, only white... and it's French because some horrible FROG stole my South African one.

9. Mini polaroid photographs of AWESOME places I've been
I'm ALWAYS taking photographs, and I've been to some really pretty places. And I like things that are really small (and cute.... cringe)

10. Firefly Bramley Apple and Ginger  natural drink from Geoffrey's of London

I'm really trendy and healthy (and I buy drinks for R40 because I think the bottle's cool and I'm basically just a ridiculous human being)

11. Cork matchbox from Corsica
To light my vanilla scented candle, I don't smoke, smoking is horrid (and I've been known to be a bit of an FT, I try not to be, but sometimes I can't help it and I buy ridiculous curios, like matchboxes made of cork with scary cool Corsican mascot chap on it, think there's a more official name for him though, haha)

12. Vanilla scented candle

I absolutely LOVE candles, they're pretty and romantic and calming and they always make me happy 

13. Notes de cuisine from St Tropez

I've totally been to St Tropeeeez, and I love bright colourful things

14. European phrase book

I travel all over Europe and need to know how to say stuff in different languages (and I'm very cool)

15. South African playing cards

Err, I'm from South Africa and I like to play cards (hahaha, thanks Captain Obvious). If you look closely you'll see that they're rather tatty and have had numerous drinks spilt on them... for a 25 year old I play way too many drinking games)

16. Zambuck cherry lip balm and beaded bracelets
Err, I like cherry lipbalm and beaded bracelts (grasping at straws here)

17. Postcard of Bonifacio
BEEN to Bonifacio (even worse, sorry). No, I write postcards and never get round to sending them so they just end up getting stuck to my shelf 

18. Suncream

Where I am, it's ALWAYS sunny, and I NEVER work cos I'm always on the beach suntanning (using my SUNcream)

19. Pink roses
(they're real, and they smell pretty) I absolutely LOVE flowers, I think there should ALWAYS be at least one bunch of flowers in every house, at all times.

What you DON'T know is that they're not the first pot of pretty pink flowers that have sat on that shelf... I'm a terrible pot plant owner, I think I give them too much water, but only because I LOVE them and I don't want them to be thirsty.

20. Cote d'Azur train timetable

I use the train a lot, to travel all along the Cote d'Azur on my weekends off, I LOVE exploring and seeing new places.

21. Perfume(s) from Grasse

Hmm, you know this story. Basically I have NO self control when it comes to shopping, and I like to smell delicious ALL the time (I spray the stuff onto my bed sheets, so that when I walk into my room it smells pretty, and that (in some small way) makes me really happy. 
22. Guess sunglasses
I'm REALLY fancy and I only wear namebrand. Not really. This is one of the few namebrand things I actually own.

So, that's what's on my bedroom shelf and it tells a pretty good story of what I'm up to and what I'm like...

a bucket list, or something like it

So, as promised, here is everything I hope to see, do and achieve; a bit like a bucket list, but FAR more spectacular and elaborate (read long winded) but whatever, what use is a blog if you can't write elaborate, long winded descriptions of all your biggest most ridiculous dreams on it?

Now, being In France is great, it really is, being in

Europe

is GREAT because everything is so close together, you can get on a train, travel one hour away and you’re in another country, where they speak another language and have a completely different culture but I feel I need to venture a little further, having said that, I still want to visit Copenhagen, Vienna, Paris, Budapest, Barcelona, Prague, Bruges, Slovenia (okay, so basically EVERYWHERE). And I want to see it all whilst driving in one of these...

 

Did you really expect I'd want to see Europe any other way?
My plan is to buy one, make it SHOUT Cary (I'm talking pretty paint jobs and colourful cushions and purple hubblys (yes, I said purple hubblys), drive it all over Europe and then sell it for more than I bought it for (wishful thinking?)

BUT...

I feel like if I haven’t been to INDIA then I haven't really travelled. Obviously, if I'm going to travel to India then it's imperitive I buy a pair of harem pants, because that's just what you wear when you travel to India, not so? Whatever, I'm buying a pair, just like this, I REFUSE to step on the plane without them... 

YES ... those are pants (but SO much better)

I'm going to get back to South Africa and EVERYONE is going to be like "WHERE did you get those outrageously awesome pants?" and I will reply casually "oh, you know... INDIA" and they will all die of jealousy right before my eyes. Well, that's the plan, but I'm pretty sure that the moment I get off the plane my lovely new pants will transform from “totally avant-garde and envy-inspiring” to “exclusively appropriate for Halloween” and it will probably inspire a conversation more along these lines:

“Where did you get that thing?”

“Um, INDIA.”

“Take it off. It looks like you were dressed by a five-year-old who hates you.”

...OH

Whatever. The HAREM PANTS... get 'em!

Along with above mentioned harem pants, I will be wearing LOADS of pretty ankle bracelets (obviously) and I'm going to cruise around the place with my poloroid camera, taking photos and eating chole tikki chaat from the chaat walas (haha, I could say that 10 times and still find it amusing. Go on, say it really fast, the faster you say it, the funnier it sounds!). I'm going to go to the markets and buy EVERY single kind of spice I can get my hands on, because one day (when I've grown up) I'm going to be the proud owner of the world's most impressive spice rack, like this one (but BETTER)...

Okay, so I've been waffling on for ages and I've only covered hippie vans, chole tikki chaats, ridiculous pants that will no doubt make me look like I'm seriously with child and impressive spice racks, let me end there... and start again tomorrow (this may take a while).

best blog EVER

please, do yourself a favour and go check out this guys blog..... www.fupenguin.com. Basically, he posts pictures of ridiculoulsy cute animals, verbally abuses them and tells them where to get off, it's hilarious. If you're offended by (extremely) bad language then this probably isn't for you, so don't read any further mmmkay.

 

 This one is my favourite, you can find it on his blog.. it's titled "NO"

 

"Honestly, Axolotl, if you don't stop existing right now, I'm going to tear my eyes out and then eat them, in the hope that this would somehow be so traumatic that I would never have to think about you ever again. You might finally put the whole intelligent design argument to rest. (Does anyone really want to think about God doing acid?) On the other hand, I can't possibly think of an evolutionary reason for you to look so ridiculous, you amphibious motherfucker. Are you trying to blend into a Keith Haring painting?

Just because you have a weird looking smiley face where a normal face should be doesn't mean I'm gonna ignore the fact that you can't even metamorphosize your crazy ass. EPIC EVOLUTIONARY FAIL, AXOLOTL. Maybe you should think a little less about creeping people the fuck out and a little more about stimulating your thyroid. You probably make the best argument ever to stay out of the water. I'll take my quarter of the earth's surface, Axolotl, now leave me the fuck alone" (http://www.fupenguin.com/2009/03/no.html)

and here are some of the comments that people posted, they're just as funny....

Willsaid...

Hey axoltol, gollum called, he said your fingers are creeping him the fuck out.

 

Chlorian Theoreticussaid...

The fact that you can be induced, via iodine, to metamorphose into a salamander, pisses me off even more, Axolotl!

You are so goddamned strange and adorable!

Damn you!

 

lbwsampsonsaid...

I'm sorry, but I appreciate any animal that, according to Wikipedia, can "suck food into their stomachs with vacuum force." That's just fucking cool.

 

YoungHasBeenssaid...

And what's with the lungs on the OUTSIDE of your HEAD Axolotl?! Plain old "indoor" lungs not GOOD enough for you? Well fuck you and your lungs. I Hope you choke on a tiny crustacean and die because it's impossible to give the heimlich maneuver to an amphibian that has lungs on the outside of its head. You won't feel so "special" then , will you?

 

 

Moleskine Gourmet Box

oooooh my gosh. You know when it's been nearly a month since your birthday, and then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, someone leaves you a presant (present? preasant? prezint? God I never know!) outside your bedroom door? Anyways, I got a gift (gift is so much easier than that other word, the p word) from my lovely Italian deckhand and it's one of the most thoughtful (and completely unexpected) things anyone's ever bought me, I was so excited I could have just kissed him, but then his Italian girlfriend might have gone all Italian girlfriendy on me, un peu en colère, in South Africa we'd say she would go a little bos, get a little woes, you know, open a big ol' can a whipass on me (American?) and we don't want that now do we, so I settled for a hug and a kiss on the cheek, which turned into one of those awkward European "kiss on both cheeks" moments, you know when you (the normal, non-European) kiss them on the cheek and then you lean back (because one kiss on the cheek is ENOUGH) but then they (the weirdos) go in to kiss you on the other cheek and end up awkwardly kissing you on your nose and then you think "oh hell, let me kiss them on the other cheek too then" and then you end up kind of kissing their ear... god I love those moments. Anyways, we acknowledged how weird (and really funny) it was and moved on.

 

So yes.. the box of awesomeness... a Moleskine Gourmet Box filled with the most exciting things; recipe journals, where you can fill in all sorts of cool stuff and recipes and make notes and stickers to label things and expandable pockets and tasting notes and conversion tables and a cocktail and wine section and OH MY GOSH IT'S SO COOL, I've been playing with it and filling it in ALL day, the captain realised that this was a "Cary Thing" and let me be. It's one of those things that you know you'll have forever, it's going to be FILLED with all my favourite recipes, handwritten and marvelously (marvellously? marvilislea? whatever) organised.

 

I love it.

 

So, to those of you that have yet to buy me a marvilis birthday present, you can get me something in a month's time, nothing like a surprise TWO months after your birthday is over... 

 

jokes (but not really) 

I've been thinking... oh DEAR

I’m on lockdown. That’s right. I’m not allowed off the boat the WHOLE weekend. This is for many reasons, most of which have been decided by yours truly: I’ve been doing FAR too much of everything naughty; spending, drinking, eating cheese… it must STOP. So this weekend, I will not spend a single cent (I will NOT), I will not touch a glass of wine and I will not so much as sniff a piece of French cheese. It’s reading, sleeping, writing, water and fruit for moi. Yes. Nothing bad, only good. I’m on my floating fortress of health and well-being and self control. Yay me.

Now, when you’re by yourself on a floating fortress of health and well-being and self control you have a lot of time to think. And in my opinion, thinking is not good. It’s bad. Thinking is the enemy.  My motto this year has been “don’t think, just do”, so now that I’ve stopped for 2 seconds, I’ve been… thinking. I woke up this morning (sans hangover) from my peaceful, healthy slumber and the first thing I thought was … OH MY GOD I’M GETTING OLD AND I’M GOING TO DIE AND I STILL HAVEN’T SEEN A PANDA OR MILKED A COW OR GROWN MY OWN POTATO (why-the-hell-do-I-all-of-a-sudden-want-to-be-a-farmerrr-and-is-there-even-an-"e"-at-the-end-of-potatoo and why am I putting little dashes between every word). I haven’t written a book or been to South America or eaten hippo marinated in coca-cola. I haven’t built my own tree house or made my own wine, I haven’t seen a tiger, I don’t know what raddichio tastes like or even LOOKS like, I haven’t even made my own JAM (good GOD). Calm down Cary, you’re 25, you’re not going to die, you can still make your own jam, you are insane. But I COULD die, I could, especially here in France, I seem destined to die on my little purple bicycle, I’ve nearly died twice, so maybe THRICE (un)lucky? Okay stop it.

I’ve had a firm word with myself and I don’t think I will be dying any time soon. So, what I’ve decided I want to do, is make a list of things I WANT to do, a bucket list of sorts, so when I do die, or when I AM dying (because when I’m dead I won’t be doing much of anything at all will I? Aaah) I don't think… oh my god I wish I had done that. So, in my next post I will treat you to my bucket list. Oleh.