1. Tiger Balm is GREAT, it really is, it heals a multitude of things, just don't put it on your nose and your cheeks, thinking it might help clear your sinuses a bit... rookie mistake that, terrible outcomes, tears, temporary blindness and other unpleasant things, not advised, VERY silly.
2. Pre-purchased toilet paper - VERY NB. In Thailand, they don't do toilet paper. They do violent spray guns (HOW are girls supposed to use those?), or manky buckets of water next to the toilet. Do NOT touch that water, do NOT. Also, don't flush said pre-purchased uber convenient toilet paper down the toilet, it doesn't end well, use the open bucket on the floor they provide, and yes, THAT'S what that delightful smell is. Utilising the toilet in Thailand requires great skill and dexterity, it's all about the quads, pre-travel squats and lunges... HIGHLY recommended, if you intend on being able to use the toilet without sitting on the seat where all the bum water run-off has landed, NOT what you want NOT what you're after.
3. I'm really, REALLY bad at bartering. I just feel so bad for trying to give them less money than they ask for. Sure, they're ripping you off, but they're ripping you off because they NEED the money, I do not NEED to pay 50 baht less for my flip flops. I'm such an easy target, it's ridiculous, I just can't do it.
Flip flop seller: 1 Cary: 0
4. Thai people are LOVELY, a lot of tourists are NOT lovely. Seriously, don't get all angry when the softly spoken Thai man is trying to take your order but is having a hard time with English because REALLY, you are in HIS country, where they speak THAI, he's only trying to help YOU by trying to get your order right and keep YOU happy so give him a break you ignoramus (so young, so angry). And also, when he offers you yoghurt with your cereal, can barely get out those few words, WHY do you think it's okay to start asking whether they have low-fat passion fruit yoghurt, seriously sweetheart, have a look around, do they LOOK like they have low-fat passion fruit yoghurt... um NO. So just eat what you're given. Okay, tourist hate speech over.
5. Sign language. Get good at it, get really good.
6. Red Bull in Thailand is NOT like Red Bull ANYwhere else. Here, Red Bull is not a drink, it's a drug, it means business.
7. I've changed quite a lot, I think I'm just getting older but I know exactly what makes me happy and that's all I'm really interested in, as selfish as it may sound, I know the kind of person I want to be around, I know what I want and really, I don't have time to be around people I don't want to be around or to do stuff I don't want to do. I do exactly as I please, I do what makes me happy. I know what my vibe is (bro). It's not jock boys and lumo paint, or music so loud your ears throb, it's not crazy all-night parties and hangovers and whilst I did enjoy the full moon party, it's not full moon parties either. It's chilled nights on the beach with good music, markets, finding pretty colours and taking pictures, it's interesting people and trying new food, exploring pretty places and taking my time, I don't do rushed, it's reading, learning things I never knew and doing exactly what I feel like doing without worrying what other people think. YES. Go me.
8. Okay, so on a lighter note, and by the way this isn't one of my tips, but one of the boys' we met on the bus... don't EVER trust a fart in Thailand, spicy food, mango juice, you get the picture.
9. You can totally live off of pad thai, coconut milk and watermelon ALONE.
10. I LOVE bean sprouts. And pak choi.
Okay that's ten I'm done bye
4. Thai people are LOVELY, a lot of tourists are NOT lovely. Seriously, don't get all angry when the softly spoken Thai man is trying to take your order but is having a hard time with English because REALLY, you are in HIS country, where they speak THAI, he's only trying to help YOU by trying to get your order right and keep YOU happy so give him a break you ignoramus (so young, so angry). And also, when he offers you yoghurt with your cereal, can barely get out those few words, WHY do you think it's okay to start asking whether they have low-fat passion fruit yoghurt, seriously sweetheart, have a look around, do they LOOK like they have low-fat passion fruit yoghurt... um NO. So just eat what you're given. Okay, tourist hate speech over.
5. Sign language. Get good at it, get really good.
6. Red Bull in Thailand is NOT like Red Bull ANYwhere else. Here, Red Bull is not a drink, it's a drug, it means business.
7. I've changed quite a lot, I think I'm just getting older but I know exactly what makes me happy and that's all I'm really interested in, as selfish as it may sound, I know the kind of person I want to be around, I know what I want and really, I don't have time to be around people I don't want to be around or to do stuff I don't want to do. I do exactly as I please, I do what makes me happy. I know what my vibe is (bro). It's not jock boys and lumo paint, or music so loud your ears throb, it's not crazy all-night parties and hangovers and whilst I did enjoy the full moon party, it's not full moon parties either. It's chilled nights on the beach with good music, markets, finding pretty colours and taking pictures, it's interesting people and trying new food, exploring pretty places and taking my time, I don't do rushed, it's reading, learning things I never knew and doing exactly what I feel like doing without worrying what other people think. YES. Go me.
8. Okay, so on a lighter note, and by the way this isn't one of my tips, but one of the boys' we met on the bus... don't EVER trust a fart in Thailand, spicy food, mango juice, you get the picture.
9. You can totally live off of pad thai, coconut milk and watermelon ALONE.
10. I LOVE bean sprouts. And pak choi.
Okay that's ten I'm done bye
