The pizza in Naples... the PIZZA, people

Okay, this is a hard one to write about. I mean, how do you go about describing the best pizza you have EVER eaten. If you get pizza jealousy, then stop right here because I am about to be VERY obnoxious and boasty. At Pizzeria da Michele, you're supposed to wait to go inside, you get a number, you wait outside (for as long as 45 minutes, I hear), then they call you. Well, I kind of just walked straight in, not because I was being a douche bag (I just said douche bag), just because I wasn't sure what the system was, an old man walked out from the kitchen and said "come, bella, sit down", so I did, who am I to say no to the pizza guru? (see pizza guru on right hand side, that okes legit, yes I'm South African, no I don't normally speak like that, it's the obnoxious, boastful pizza slotter speaking, she's TERRIBLE). Well, I got some serious death stares from the folk outside, they were SO mad, they were fuming (haters). The options at Da Michele are marinara or margherita, that's with, or without buffalo mozzarella. That's it. To drink, you may have a beer, a coke, or a glass of water. I seriously like that. Why can't more places be like that?! That's what people like me NEED, we don't need too much choice, it clutters our brains and we get all flustered because what if we order the wrong thing and someone goes and orders something better from page 12 of the menu, then we get food jealousy, ain't nobody want food jealousy. So, I had the margherita, with buffalo mozzarella, and the water. Well, my pizza came, and the sheer size of it blew me away, BLEW me away I tell you (too much?). To a rookie, that pizza may just have looked like an ordinary pizza (you can see it on the right, next to the pizza gurus), a rookie might think "What? THAT is the best pizza in the world? There's nothing ON it, and look, it's burnt around the edges". Not me, no way not EVER, I be knowing that the burnt bits are going to be delicious and that it's all about the sweetness of the tomatoes and the quality of the buffalo mozzarella and the freshness and fragrance of the basil, I know it's in the dough (that just rhymed, so unintentionally, I promise). Well, you know when something is so good you just don't want it to end, like so good that if you were to drop even a smidgen of it on the floor, you'd shamelessly do a stop drop and roll right under the table to retrieve it. Finishing the entire thing was quite a task, but I faced it like a champion, I conquered it like a true hero and emerged victorious, I may have put myself into a food coma, but it was worth it, and by GOD, if my bum wasn't at risk of expanding to approximately, I donno, the size of AUSTRALIA, I would eat one every day, EVERY day. If you ever come to Naples, Pizzeria da Michele, people.