stark white bums and a MERMAN

After being ruuuudely awoken by the captain at 7am, on our first day without guests (I KNOW!!), we did a bit of work and then launched a full-on mutiny; we got the rest of the day off... SUCCESS. Whilst we DO love eachother dearly, we decided it was best to walk in opposite directions. He walked the one way and I kayaked off in the other. I spent ages kayaking around to different beaches until I found the perfect one (there's a picture on the right), this beach had room enough JUST for me and my little kayak, NO one else was there, it was absolute bliss. I stayed there for the rest of the day, swimming and tanning and reading, and then I got brave... So, I'm now totally comfortable with the tanning topless thing, and seeing as there was nobody there, why not whip the bottoms off and tan that now stark white bum of mine too (big mistake). Do I even need to continue, you know where this is going right? I was lying there, half in the water, half out, head on the sand, water lapping up over said stark white bum, I kept looking behind me to see if anyone was coming, nobody did, until SOMEBODY did... I turned around and there was a MERMAN coming out of the water with his spear gun and his abs and his shaggy wet hair and I was SO in love with him I completely forgot I was lying there nekkid and he could see my bum, and then I thought to myself... you know WHAT, for being THAT good looking, merman, you absolutely MAY see my bum, I'm not even going to cover it, yoooou just LOOK away, congratulations on your face, this is your prize. Cary just YOU act casual and pretend you're sleeping, he can't see you perving at him through your sunglasses. He went and sat on the rock next to me and when he looked the other way I scurried up to my towel and whipped my bikini on, tried to TRICK him into thinking he imagined seeing me naked. He walks up to me (I'm about to DIE) and starts rattling off in Italian... "oh, what was that you say? Two bunches of parsley and do I know where you can find fresh basil? Oh you want 4 tuna steaks and a kilo of prawns? No? Looking for the bakery?". Yeah, that's the extent of my Italian. I half got out in broken Italian that I didn't understand and then awkwardly laughed and then he awkwardly laughed and then I didn't know what to do so I (awkwardly) smiled and put my hat over my head and my earphones in, and that was the end of that. I have SERIOUSLY lost my game. I could only take the hat off my face when I was sure he had gone away, and after about 20 minutes of almost suffocating under a hat and getting severely sunburnt... he had. I got back in my kayak, paddled out to a buoy and lay there reading for another hour or so with my feet dangling in the water, it was QUITE dreamy and delicious.