Just a couple of days before I head off to
Paris to start my European adventure and I’m now, only now, starting to think about realistic stuff
like, oh, maybe I should book my train ticket, wait, where is AUSTERLITZ train
station (that don’t sound nothin’ to me like no Paris, nuh-uuuh, that sound to
me like some kind concentration
whosey-watsit place that
does)? How am I going to get from wherever THAT place is to the hostel I’m staying
at (wait, which hostel AM I staying at?).
How do I get to Brugge, how in the name of all things chocolatey and
Belgian do I even SAY that word? I should really know how to say the names of
the places I’m visiting, get a grip!
Oh boy, I’m now officially in a bit of a
flap. But, really, this is typical Cary behaviour. I don’t know why I’m even pretending to be surprised by it. I didn’t book a
Eurail Pass (like I originally planned) because I thought, well, what if it’s
just a big rip off, what if I go to Paris and fall in love (with a box of
macarons) and don’t ever want to leave and then I’ve spent R5000 on a ticket
forrrr nothing, or what if I get to Amsterdam and I fall massively in love with the wacky tabacky doo-dahs (like
even MORE in love than with the macarons) or if I get to Salzburg and I get all
the way up to the top of the mountain and just as I’m starting the twirling around
with arms outstretched thing and I’m belting out the final “my heeeeeart wants
to siiiiiiiing (long dramatic pause)… to the soooooound of (another pause and
lowering of tone) mmmmmmmuuuuuuuusic” and I trip and fall and break a tooth
CLEAN off, like right
off at the gum line and it falls to the ground, blood everywhere, eidelweises
STAINED, forever, cute
kids in lederhosen crying, the lonely goat running for cover, did I mention the blood? EVERYWHERE. Oh the horror. And then, obviously, I need to go to the dentist and then I don’t
use my R5000 Eurail pass, because, well,
I’m at the dentist, aren’t I and
then it was ALL just a big waste and I’ll be like god damnit WHY did I buy the
stuuuupid Eurail Pass. Shit happens man, shit HAPPENS.
Well, that was all quite dramatic. I’m just
getting the pre-travel nerves, wondering where I’ll stay, how I’ll get there, who I’ll meet along the
way, if I’ve bought enough chewing gum to last the whole train journey, whether
or not I should have bought the watermelon or if the mint will be okay, if I’ll
be sitting next to someone stinky, and if he is stinky then if he’ll be hot enough that said
stench is tolerable and indeed entirely acceptable. SO many questions, SO few
answers... what will happen next? WILL she survive the month, will she get
flustered, lose ALL sense of direction or just lose all sense of everything and end up
sleeping at the train station, like a HOBO, for the REST of her life, licking ketchup out of empty
happy meal boxes, will she fall in love with the macorons, the wacky tabacky or
the Salzburgian (?) sex god, or will she get lucky and have it ALL and laugh in the face of the Eurail Pass? Stay tuned.
