I'm a vegitaaaaaarian

No, not really, I just like the way that sounds, but I might be becoming one, maybe, I donno. Last night I put a piece of red, RED meat onto the grill for the first time in ages, the guests aren't keen on red meat and we hardly ever have it. I didn't put too much oil onto the grill (trying to be healthy, yoooou know how it goes), so the meat kind of stuck to it, I tried to pry it away from the grill but it was just STUCK and it wouldn't come off and it was just this piece of red FLESH from something that had a face and used to walk around and it was just lying there with no face anymore all cut up and COOKING and there was BLOOD coming out and then I felt a bit sick and didn't want to eat it anymore. It was all quite bizarre. I had that with bananas once; I always quite liked bananas then ONE day, it was really hot, and I had a bite of this warm banana and it was all mushy and the texture made me want to be ILL and I couldn't swallow it and for years I never wanted to eat bananas again. It didn't last so long with the meat though. I was kind of hungry, so I eventually chopped it all up and put it in a salad, which maybe means I'm NOT a vegetarian (sigh), but still, HOW lady-like and dainty to want to pass out at the sight of cooking meat (yay ME). Maybe I should be a pescitarian, spell check doesn't even KNOW that word, that's how cool it is to be one of them. Relax, haters, I'm joking. In other (even MORE) ridiculous, pifflerous news (I made that word up, I LIKE it), the naughty tanning oil from yesterday has worked miracles, no more sunburn, just TAN. Just don't you worry about my obsession with being tanned mmmkay, it's all very new for me, our sun is different in South Africa. I'm going to just stop now, I'm sounding like a raging anoos. I would tell you about the beautiful dress I found for Lara's wedding but then my hate club numbers would just SKYrocket off the planet and out past Jupiter and the Milky Way and Saturn and the stars and past where Jesus lives and then just past that and, um... sorry, I'm not well, too much sun.