I wrote this on the bus, aaand my battery died, which is why it ends rather abruptly...
So, I’m wearing my eye mask over my nose. Why, you ask? Because I have the most horrid of
smelling mens feet IN my face. I can barely breathe, but I’ve chosen no
breathing and no smell over breathing and HORRIFIC smell, yeah proper toss up
that one. I chose THE worst seat. Not only is it the boys’ feet that smell
wretched, the toilets (which we chose to sit RIGHT next to) smell absolutely putrid, and as if that isn't QUITE enough smelliness for one evening, there are also the open packets of dried shrimp and clams that Kirst decided to
try. I went for the dried lobster chips, yeah THAT wasn’t a good choice, they
smell like the kind of stuff I used to sprinkle over my goldfish bowl (oooh I miss woozy little cutesie boy).
SO, this, uh LUXURY VIP bus we’re on to Koh Samui from Bangkok (12
hours), weeeell, it ain’t so luxury. It’s pretty pimped out, but it ain’t a
luxury’s eyelash. It has dimmed coloured lights everywhere, lumo fish on the
outside, silky curtains with tassles, a gold-framed picture of the bus driver’s
daughter in her prom outfit, a TV that doesn’t work aaaaand a toilet… that
smells like an Indian long-drop… in PAW-PAW season.
We’re three hours into the trip, aaaand we’ve
only done 30 minutes of actual driving time. We’ve been sitting outside a
petrol station, doing god knows what. Ooooh another 11 and a half
hours to go, and then a ferry to Koh Samui. At least we have the dried clam
treats, mmm.
2AM... the bus driver comes storming through the bus with a torch, shining it in our faces screaming HALF HOUR, LAST STOP TILL END, OUT!
So, of course, we listened. We got out at the most fantastic place. It was an empty garage in the middle of nowhere that had been converted into a little pit-stop for the overnight buses. Decorated with lights and gold statues and fake floweres. They sold: thai red curry, thai green curry, rice, noodles, pink eggs, pineapple aaaaand coconut yoghurt. What a feast.
I tried the Thai red curry (waaaha)
FAIL
Ooooohwee was it hot, I could barely eat the rice that the curry sauce had merely touched. I'm really going to have to sort that out. In my defence, no one could really eat it either (except for Kirst, but she's a carnie, and carnie's don't really feel pain)
Once our 30 mins at the little pit stop was over, the owner (literally) shoved us out her little garage and onto the bus again
OMG I haven't mentioned the toilets yet!
They deserve a whole seperate post. As does the ferry ride to Koh Samui, the prawn pad thai, the full moon party, the fire dancers, the hubbly on the beach, the floating lanterns and the beautiful sea.
I absolutely love this place. More another time, after 4 solid days of travelling, it's time for bed (in my deluxe bedroom, with my DOUBLE bed, and my ensuite bathroom, alll to myself, for 30 Euros!!) I can't even remember the last time I slept in a room by myself. Ah the bliss)
