Life Abroad

Is it RIGHT that something so tiny and insignificant as a mosquito can ruin my night, disturb my sleep, wake me from my peaceful slumber?! No, no it is not. This little BEAST (as Franco would call it) is biting me all over the place; feet, bum, FACE (not the face, man, what a liberty), he's making annoying buzzing sounds in my ear, every time I turn the light on to find him he hides, the stealthy bastard. I've had enough of his tricks, he needs to die, it's game over for him. I hope he's sitting on my shoulder reading all of this. Yeah mate, I mean YOU, yoooou are going down, like a led balloon buddy (?), dowwwwwn you hear me?

I've been quite productive, since 1am, which is when I first woke up, because of HIM. I've replied to a few emails, researched travel insurance, made a rough plan for my trip to Kenya (google Che Shale and Stilts Backpackers, why dontcha) aaaaand I've written an epic poem/rap to give to my friend on the morning of her wedding, more of a rap, really. Yeah a RAP, gangsta, in the hood, homeboys, yo (?). I thought of performing said rap, but I think my talent lies more in the WRITING of the rap than the singing of it. I donno, I'm gonna sit on it. Sleep on it? Can you say you'll sit on it? Or do you say you'll sleep on it? Because there's no sleeping going on up in hurr (because of tiny annoying creature) and sitting on it isn't a great idea, sitting on ANYTHING isn't a great idea (we've been through this before; bum, size of Australia, don't make me spell it out). Maybe I'll just jump the gun and pop open the champagne at 10am and rap my little face off like a pro, like a home-dawwg, or maybe I won't. No. I probably won't.

Oh, you want to know about the dress situation, yeah you do. I've sent the one back and ordered another two sizes to try on (to my friend's house in London), just to be safe. Gorgeous black dress still on standby, for the love of god will somebody please give me a reason to wear it when I get home.