1. I got a new torch
YAY
(It's really bright)
Like, SUPER bright
hashtaglovesiiiiit
2. I almost killed myself swerving for a chameleon on the road.
Narrow escape HE made, cutesie little creep
3. In a moment of complete dickness, I tried to drown a huge scary insect in the sink as I was brushing my teeth because I got a fright, and then I was so overcome with guilt, I couldn't BELIEVE what I was doing, what kind of an anus horribilis DOES that?! I then went to great lengths to rescue it aaaaand then we were friends and I got pretty sad when he flew away. But I guess I don't blame him (entirely), I tried to DROWN him in toothpasty water JUST because he was ugly. Imagine.
4. Ummm. Ummmm. Oh, there's this THING out there in the bush, cruising around my camp, it's a Red Lechwe cross Waterbuck. Quite unusual THAT. Foxy little Lechwe trying a different flavor. I'll try my best to find it. #challenge #imabignerd
5. Who am I kidding? There's no 5.
6. No 6 either
7. What's the difference between a shongololo and a centipede and WHY those things gotta bite? Haters.
8. I flew an aeroplane the other day. Like a boss.
9. Marco?
10. DID you know... turtles can breathe out their BUTTS? Seriously. Watch me hold my breath for 14 hours (while I sneakily inhale through my butt and you all think I'm incredibly clever and amazing, BOOM, through my butt, folks)
Okay so that turned less into and update on my life and more of an update on my state of mental health. Oh dear. TEA?! Anyone for tea?
