Okay, 12 people are coming again, but they're bringing Mohammed.
Okay cool, so I shouldn't worry about lunch then?
Nope.
1 hour later.... 8 people arrive... NO Mohammed.
Mohammed where ARE you?! Mohammeeeeed, I thought we were FRIENDS?
Chilled. I can do this. Breathe.
Cary, we bought some quail for Mr Farid, (big boss) he'll have that for lunch.
Alright. Quail, shit, insanely small bird, how the HELL do I cook this bastard?!
Mr Farid walks on at 11.30am.
Hello, nice to meet you, something for breakfast please.
Yes, very nice to meet you too. Poached eggs? Great, won't be long.
RUSH to the kitchen. Oh hell. Okay, poached eggs, toast, mushrooms, tomatoes. BAM there's your breakfast.
Clean the kitchen. Serve drinks. Play hide and seek with the children, pretend to be thoroughly enjoying myself whilst doing so, smiling and laughing and thinking (in most evil manner) WHY DON'T YOU GO HIDE IN THE CUPBOARD... like, FOREVER. What a horrible thing to think. Anyways.
2 more guest: can we have some tuna sandwiches, and a salad please.
Yes, sure. Search like mad for tuna... eventually find it, serve sandwiches.
Thanks Cary, you're great. Can you get the children some ice cream please, Jude would like pink ice cream, thanks.
Shit, we only have white ice cream... Aaah, we have food colouring. Make ice cream pink. Miracle maker.
Mr Farid: I'll have a steak please, with some fries. Thank you.
But WHAT?! You just had breakfast?! Now you want steak? You're SUPPOSED to be having quail!! Damnit. Ooookay, shit do we even have steak? YES, yes we do, clever Cary for buying lots of emergency steak.
Serve steak, clean galley, remake beds for the 2nd time, clean bathrooms, help on deck. Refold towels. Make lunch for the crew. Clean the crew area. Serve drinks.
30 mins later... oh, Cary, could we have 3 more steaks please, they looked SO good.
Yes, of cooourse you can.
1 hour later... could we have a pizza please?
NOOOOOOOOOOOO! NO you cannot. You cannot have a pizza. This is not a restaurant! I have already made THREE different meals today,why can't you be NORMAL and all eat the same thing at the same time like NORMAL people. WHY? What's WRONG with you. Sorry, I mean yes, YES you may most certainly have a pizza.
Yeah, thanks Mohammed, jolly good show. Shot buddy. Consider yourself UNfriended.
