Animal noises, sign language and other means of communication

This whole shopping business is rather tricky, even more so when you can’t speak the local language. I’ve just (sort of, kind of, not really) got the hang of French and now I’m in Italy and it’s a whooole different story. Today, my shopping experience when like this

Bonjour, sorry.. bonjourNO (?). Um, anglais? Sorry, I mean English? Can you speak English?

Italiano.

Oh, I see (well that makes sense I guess). Okay, well, I’m looking for a butchery.

*scrunchy up face* Aboooocherry? No. No.

Okay, um marcelleria?

No. Yes. Down. Down. Down (pointing upwards with his hands) left (pointing right, great, now what exactly do I do with this information?)

Grazie. Chow

Walk walk walk, down down down left aaaand I’m at the rotisserie where they sell already cooked meat.

Grrreat. ROUND 2. Bonjourno, mi scuzi, eh, marcelleria?

Eventually arrive at the butchery.

Bonjourno. Mi scuzi.. Lamb?

No.

No you don’t have it or no you don’t understand?

No.

Ooookay. Um, baaaaa baaaaa. Sheep. Lamb. Baaa Baaa

Aaaaah okay, yes.

The butcher found this rather entertaining (as did the rest of the customers in the shop) and proceeded to ask me if I needed some “moooo mooooo” (marching around behind the counter with his hands as horns held up against his head, what a joker)

Qui. I mean yes. Two grande mooooo mooooo und zwei (sorry, that’s German) TWO cluck cluck cluck.

Grazie. Arravadechi.

Mission accomplished.

Wait, I’m looking for the fish monger?

Eh?

Uh, fish *proceeds to make fish like motions (still not understood), *acts out casting a rod and reeling in a fish.

Aaaaah. Pesceria?

YES. Fifty meter, left, pesceria.

Phew. ALL in a day’s work.

kay, where AM I?

Three clues...

Could it beeeee ITALY?

Ravioli (for exceptionally talented chefs ONLY)

This, like all my recipes, is for people who are really good at cooking. As you will see, it's an extremely tricky process and requires a LOT of skill, so, unless you're like me, or Nigella or Jamie or something I suggest you just go out and buy it. BUT, if you ARE like us, then here is how you make it... (give or take... kind of)

 

Moleskine Gourmet Box

oooooh my gosh. You know when it's been nearly a month since your birthday, and then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, someone leaves you a presant (present? preasant? prezint? God I never know!) outside your bedroom door? Anyways, I got a gift (gift is so much easier than that other word, the p word) from my lovely Italian deckhand and it's one of the most thoughtful (and completely unexpected) things anyone's ever bought me, I was so excited I could have just kissed him, but then his Italian girlfriend might have gone all Italian girlfriendy on me, un peu en colère, in South Africa we'd say she would go a little bos, get a little woes, you know, open a big ol' can a whipass on me (American?) and we don't want that now do we, so I settled for a hug and a kiss on the cheek, which turned into one of those awkward European "kiss on both cheeks" moments, you know when you (the normal, non-European) kiss them on the cheek and then you lean back (because one kiss on the cheek is ENOUGH) but then they (the weirdos) go in to kiss you on the other cheek and end up awkwardly kissing you on your nose and then you think "oh hell, let me kiss them on the other cheek too then" and then you end up kind of kissing their ear... god I love those moments. Anyways, we acknowledged how weird (and really funny) it was and moved on.

 

So yes.. the box of awesomeness... a Moleskine Gourmet Box filled with the most exciting things; recipe journals, where you can fill in all sorts of cool stuff and recipes and make notes and stickers to label things and expandable pockets and tasting notes and conversion tables and a cocktail and wine section and OH MY GOSH IT'S SO COOL, I've been playing with it and filling it in ALL day, the captain realised that this was a "Cary Thing" and let me be. It's one of those things that you know you'll have forever, it's going to be FILLED with all my favourite recipes, handwritten and marvelously (marvellously? marvilislea? whatever) organised.

 

I love it.

 

So, to those of you that have yet to buy me a marvilis birthday present, you can get me something in a month's time, nothing like a surprise TWO months after your birthday is over... 

 

jokes (but not really) 

just call me CHEF

So we arrived in Bonifacio and the holiday was over... time to work. I was given my uniform which I was super excited about... t-shirts and polos with the boat's logo, a proper red sailing jacket (eee), some peak caps, some brand new aprons and... CHEF'S WHITES. Yes, you heard me... CHEF'S WHITES, you know, the little white chef outfit with the double buttons down the middle and the boat's logo embroidered in red... yeah THAT one. I asked Pierre if I could please keep it in the cupboard, just until the guests arrived, it kinda made me NERVOUS, like really REALLY nervous. WHY were they giving me a CHEF's outfit... I'm not even a chef... oh HELL

 that was then... when I was a rookie and this is at the end of the charter, when I was a full-blown professional, OWNING the outfit... yeah maaan

SO, like you do when you're a CHEF... I finished planning my menus, wrote a whopper of a grocery list and went trapsing around beautiful Bonifacio looking for the best quality products I could find, with absolutely NO budget. It was so much fun, I hiked up a huge mountain to look for the butchery... and finally found it... totally worth it

I went to the fishmonger and bough two massive salmons, some red snapper, beautiful sea bass, a fish with the most ridiculously funny face I've ever seen, some tiger prawns, mussels, scallops and shrimp... the total amount was just RIDICULOUS... good thing it wasn't my money I was spending.

I went to the cheese shop and was taught all about different cheeses and the special Corsican cheeses they had, they were SO strong they could have walked back to the boat themselves!!

I went to the florist, the bakery and the BEST fruit and vegetable shop I've ever seen called CHEZ LUCETTE where things cost an absolute BOMB but are super good quality, I was just picking up a few things and ended up spending over R6000.. oops. I bought the best selection of fresh berries, pommegranates, figs and every fruit under the sun. I bought the finest olive oil and balsamic vinegar and some beautiful olives, sundried tomatoes and charcuterie. Okay, wow, I've really turned into a bit of a foodie... enough. Anyways, it was AWESOME.

I got back to the boat, spent AGES trying to find space for all this food and was invited to dinner with the guys, Bonifacio has the most incredible vibe, it's one of the most lively, beautiful places I've ever seen...