wacky tabacky

Captain: Cary, can you smell wacky tabacky?

 

Um, sorry, can I smell what?

 

Wacky tabacky. You know, weed.

 

Hahahahaha. wacky tabacky. Hahaha. Hahahaha

 

That's funny. I like that, wacky tabacky.

 

Talking of wacky tabacky, Amsterdam soon! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

iwantamacbookaaaaaaaair

Yeah, we're back on this one again.

 

I've worked it out, I divided my monthly salary by 30 days, and, well, 11.5 days of "work" on the boat is equal to ONE times Macbook. I mean, 11.5 days, that's nothing right?  Right? 11.5 days? I LAUGH in the face of 11.5 days. Of those 11.5 days, I actaully only work 9.5, because I get the weekends off and even on those 9.5 days I've only been doing half days.  So, really, that's only, like, 4.75 days(yeah I did that without a calculator) of work, for a MACBOOK. Yikes that's NOTHING, Macbooks are SO cheap, hahaha. haha. Maybe I should get two, what a joke. What a big old joke hey, I should have just bought one a long time ago, I should have bought my whole family one for Christmas, haha, cheap as chips, holy smokes.

 

Now, this all means that I can go out and buy the Macbook Air and not feel bad about it, hey? That's what it means hey?

 

I could buy a second hand one, but really, who wants to get a stinky old second hand Macbook when you could buy a brand new, shiny one for only 4.75 days of work and you get the added benefit of opening the box and unwrapping all the stuff. It's all about the unwrapping of the stuff.  

 

This would all be so much easier if someone just bought one for me. God, why are people so selfish?

On Souvenirs and Tchotchkes for Toni

I have GOT to stop buying souvenirs. Those who know me will know I'm not exactly a model of self-restraint, lest you think I am lying, hear this: I just devoured a cannoli the size of my head, and still, I want more! Back to the souvenirs, seriously, if I don't stop buying them I will soon be buried in novelty beer openers, key rings, hand-painted bottles of bad decision juice and other tchotchkes (tchotchke: a small piece of worthless crap, a decorative knick knack with little or no purpose, LOVE this word). Well, I guess that doesn't sound THAT bad, I mean, "crushed by tchotchkes" is way up there with “asphyxiation by cake” and “cuddled to death by pandas” on my list of preferred ways to die. But still, whilst that would be a lovely way to die, I'm going to chose LIFE and (try) stop with the tchotchkes. Today, I visited a beautiful Italian village in the mountains called Apricale and bought the BEST tchotchke for my Toni Goedhals, more on Apricale later and clues as to what said tchotchke IS...

NEW video

Look how fast we were going, aaaahsam

Animal noises, sign language and other means of communication

This whole shopping business is rather tricky, even more so when you can’t speak the local language. I’ve just (sort of, kind of, not really) got the hang of French and now I’m in Italy and it’s a whooole different story. Today, my shopping experience when like this

Bonjour, sorry.. bonjourNO (?). Um, anglais? Sorry, I mean English? Can you speak English?

Italiano.

Oh, I see (well that makes sense I guess). Okay, well, I’m looking for a butchery.

*scrunchy up face* Aboooocherry? No. No.

Okay, um marcelleria?

No. Yes. Down. Down. Down (pointing upwards with his hands) left (pointing right, great, now what exactly do I do with this information?)

Grazie. Chow

Walk walk walk, down down down left aaaand I’m at the rotisserie where they sell already cooked meat.

Grrreat. ROUND 2. Bonjourno, mi scuzi, eh, marcelleria?

Eventually arrive at the butchery.

Bonjourno. Mi scuzi.. Lamb?

No.

No you don’t have it or no you don’t understand?

No.

Ooookay. Um, baaaaa baaaaa. Sheep. Lamb. Baaa Baaa

Aaaaah okay, yes.

The butcher found this rather entertaining (as did the rest of the customers in the shop) and proceeded to ask me if I needed some “moooo mooooo” (marching around behind the counter with his hands as horns held up against his head, what a joker)

Qui. I mean yes. Two grande mooooo mooooo und zwei (sorry, that’s German) TWO cluck cluck cluck.

Grazie. Arravadechi.

Mission accomplished.

Wait, I’m looking for the fish monger?

Eh?

Uh, fish *proceeds to make fish like motions (still not understood), *acts out casting a rod and reeling in a fish.

Aaaaah. Pesceria?

YES. Fifty meter, left, pesceria.

Phew. ALL in a day’s work.

kay, where AM I?

Three clues...

Could it beeeee ITALY?

live and learn

While our guests are lovely, they're not the easiest to cook for, for numerous reasons

 

1. No salt

2. No carbs

3. No cream , butter or cheese

4. Very little pasta

5. They like everything OVER cooked, hard eggs, well done meat, dry (in my opinion) fish and chicken

6.No sweets, chips  and no sauces

 

They like to eat:

 

Squid

Crayfish

Lobster

King prawns

Funky fish that I've never SEEN before

Tuna (really hard to get right)

Sushi

Poached eggs (meh)

ONLY freshly squeezed juice

Home made health bread (mmmmmeeeeh)

Tea... but NOT tea bags, the pain in the ass tea

Weird fruit and vegetables that I've never seen before

 

They're just really healthy and it's way harder to cook healthy things than to just load everything with butter and cheese and cream, so I'm learning a lot but it's really hard cooking things you've never even eaten before especially when you have to prepare crew dinner in the middle of it all, and clean the entire boat, and do the laundy and serve the meal and do ALL the shopping and help out on deck... it's QUITE a lot of work! It's pretty challening and I've screwed up (quite) a few times but they're really understanding and they know I'm not a trained chef soooo it's okay. Live and learn... liiiiive and learn (Captain's words)

 

More wise words from the captain: live and LET live... that's one I'm really having to take on board this trip... mr deckhand is driving me UP the wall, not just up the wall ... up onto the bloody ceiling and down the other side again. There's basically no work for him to do because our captain is a superhero and I'm kind of a superwoman so  between the two of us we do everything, he just sits in the crew's mess all day reading his comic books, playing on his Mac, eating ice cream and talking on the phone to his girlfriend... but let me not go there, enough complaining for one day. I'm really lucky to be doing what I am, we're seeing such beautiful places and... I have the day off tomorrow and I'm heading to Rome, eeeeeeeeeeee

MacBook for moi

Tell me, am I being COMPLETELY ridiculous in wanting to buy a MacBook for myself? Should I be LESS ridiculous and buy a second hand one, or is that even MORE ridiculous? I do have a cute little pink notebook that I love (and it's very convenient for travelling because it's so small and fits in my handbag), except, well, it's a bit slow and, well, it's just not a Mac and IwantaMaaaaaaaac because I'm now a fancy professional blogger and fancy professional bloggers have to have fancy Macs. Sigh. If I buy it, will I just lose it, or break it or regret buying it because it's so much heavier than my little pink one and takes up too much space, should I just solve that problem by buying the new MacBook Air (aaah, but it costs SO much money and I don't think it has a CD drive thingy, but do I really NEED one of those?).

 

This is what I'm like.

 

I need help (in more ways than one!)

If you can help, or if you have a Mac (or heaps of money) that you would like to DONATE to the Cary Mental Health Fund, then email me, carymurdoch@yahoo.com 

 ... it means have a cheese burger, in Swahili

 

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it means no worries