Animal noises, sign language and other means of communication

This whole shopping business is rather tricky, even more so when you can’t speak the local language. I’ve just (sort of, kind of, not really) got the hang of French and now I’m in Italy and it’s a whooole different story. Today, my shopping experience when like this

Bonjour, sorry.. bonjourNO (?). Um, anglais? Sorry, I mean English? Can you speak English?

Italiano.

Oh, I see (well that makes sense I guess). Okay, well, I’m looking for a butchery.

*scrunchy up face* Aboooocherry? No. No.

Okay, um marcelleria?

No. Yes. Down. Down. Down (pointing upwards with his hands) left (pointing right, great, now what exactly do I do with this information?)

Grazie. Chow

Walk walk walk, down down down left aaaand I’m at the rotisserie where they sell already cooked meat.

Grrreat. ROUND 2. Bonjourno, mi scuzi, eh, marcelleria?

Eventually arrive at the butchery.

Bonjourno. Mi scuzi.. Lamb?

No.

No you don’t have it or no you don’t understand?

No.

Ooookay. Um, baaaaa baaaaa. Sheep. Lamb. Baaa Baaa

Aaaaah okay, yes.

The butcher found this rather entertaining (as did the rest of the customers in the shop) and proceeded to ask me if I needed some “moooo mooooo” (marching around behind the counter with his hands as horns held up against his head, what a joker)

Qui. I mean yes. Two grande mooooo mooooo und zwei (sorry, that’s German) TWO cluck cluck cluck.

Grazie. Arravadechi.

Mission accomplished.

Wait, I’m looking for the fish monger?

Eh?

Uh, fish *proceeds to make fish like motions (still not understood), *acts out casting a rod and reeling in a fish.

Aaaaah. Pesceria?

YES. Fifty meter, left, pesceria.

Phew. ALL in a day’s work.

kay, where AM I?

Three clues...

Could it beeeee ITALY?

on my shelf I have...

If someone were to ask me to tell them a bit about myself, there would be no need for words, I'd just send them this picture of the shelf in my little cabin and that would be enough.

This is SO typical of me, in every house, flat or hovel I've ever lived in, I've always surrounded myself with "Cary stuff". The only thing missing from this shelf if a goldfish bowl, I ALWAYS have a goldfish bowl (with a goldfish inside, obviously, not just an empty goldfish bowl, that would be silly, or wwwwould it? Maybe I could get a goldfish bowl with a FAKE goldfish...hmmm. No Cary, no) but the captain didn't think it was such a good idea, what with the boat rocking back and forth and things sliding everywhere, I offered to drill holes into the side of my cabin and secure the bowl with metal fixtures... but he was having NONE of it (howwww selfish!)

So, this is what's on my shelf and what I think it says about me.

1. Jamie Oliver cook book with post-its marking the best recipes

I'm a CHEF (pah) and I love to cook (or I just love to buy over-priced recipe books from the only English book shop in the area) 

2. A polaroid camera with a (home made) daisy chain handle

I totally waste my money on unnecessary things, and I like to make stuff

3. Pink portable ipod speakers (with matching pink ipod... oh the shame)

I'm pretty girly and I buy unnecessary accessories just because they're pink (true story)

4. Dental floss

I have BEAUTIFUL white teeth (and I'm extremely modest), no, I HATE going to the dentist so I do everything possible to avoid it.

5. Mosquito repellent

Don't even get me STARTED on this one, the mosquitos here are EVIL and they have it in for me, I'm not allowed to squash them against the fabric walls in my cabin (for obvious reasons) so they just take the piss and sit on my stupid fabric walls to TORMENT me all night long.

6. Himalaya Herbals hand cream

This is pretty silly, but it just kind of reminds me of my... ex boyfriend, he used to buy it for me when he came back from Tanzania and for some reason I still use it. And it also smells great and I just think its cool and basically I'm STILLnotoverhimGAAAH.

7. Water

I'm very healthy and I drink 20 litres a day, or it's just REALLY hot in my cabin and I'm ALWAYS thirsty.

8. My (French) white blackberry

I just couldn't have bought a black one, only white... and it's French because some horrible FROG stole my South African one.

9. Mini polaroid photographs of AWESOME places I've been
I'm ALWAYS taking photographs, and I've been to some really pretty places. And I like things that are really small (and cute.... cringe)

10. Firefly Bramley Apple and Ginger  natural drink from Geoffrey's of London

I'm really trendy and healthy (and I buy drinks for R40 because I think the bottle's cool and I'm basically just a ridiculous human being)

11. Cork matchbox from Corsica
To light my vanilla scented candle, I don't smoke, smoking is horrid (and I've been known to be a bit of an FT, I try not to be, but sometimes I can't help it and I buy ridiculous curios, like matchboxes made of cork with scary cool Corsican mascot chap on it, think there's a more official name for him though, haha)

12. Vanilla scented candle

I absolutely LOVE candles, they're pretty and romantic and calming and they always make me happy 

13. Notes de cuisine from St Tropez

I've totally been to St Tropeeeez, and I love bright colourful things

14. European phrase book

I travel all over Europe and need to know how to say stuff in different languages (and I'm very cool)

15. South African playing cards

Err, I'm from South Africa and I like to play cards (hahaha, thanks Captain Obvious). If you look closely you'll see that they're rather tatty and have had numerous drinks spilt on them... for a 25 year old I play way too many drinking games)

16. Zambuck cherry lip balm and beaded bracelets
Err, I like cherry lipbalm and beaded bracelts (grasping at straws here)

17. Postcard of Bonifacio
BEEN to Bonifacio (even worse, sorry). No, I write postcards and never get round to sending them so they just end up getting stuck to my shelf 

18. Suncream

Where I am, it's ALWAYS sunny, and I NEVER work cos I'm always on the beach suntanning (using my SUNcream)

19. Pink roses
(they're real, and they smell pretty) I absolutely LOVE flowers, I think there should ALWAYS be at least one bunch of flowers in every house, at all times.

What you DON'T know is that they're not the first pot of pretty pink flowers that have sat on that shelf... I'm a terrible pot plant owner, I think I give them too much water, but only because I LOVE them and I don't want them to be thirsty.

20. Cote d'Azur train timetable

I use the train a lot, to travel all along the Cote d'Azur on my weekends off, I LOVE exploring and seeing new places.

21. Perfume(s) from Grasse

Hmm, you know this story. Basically I have NO self control when it comes to shopping, and I like to smell delicious ALL the time (I spray the stuff onto my bed sheets, so that when I walk into my room it smells pretty, and that (in some small way) makes me really happy. 
22. Guess sunglasses
I'm REALLY fancy and I only wear namebrand. Not really. This is one of the few namebrand things I actually own.

So, that's what's on my bedroom shelf and it tells a pretty good story of what I'm up to and what I'm like...

Just so you know...

Scroll down to the first post... "The Jouney Begins...Cap d'agde to Bonifacio" and read from the bottown to the top... it'll make more sense. I'm going to bed, je suis très fatigué.

watch out universe

Today's been a rather unfortunate day, not only for me but for those who got in my way and incurred the wrath of a tired, stressed out Cary. Before you think I'm completely evil, you must know that most of this stuff was completely unintentional.

First, I kicked one of these...

(I didn't really MEAN to kick it, it was in my way and I tried to shoo it with my foot and next thing I knew my foot had connected with the filthy, annoying little creature. The pigeon basically RAN into my foot, it wasn't my FAULT (heeee had it coming). But I still feel a bit bad, it's not very nice to go around kicking things IS it?!

Then , with my bicycle, I ran over the foot of one of these...

Now THIS I do feel rather horrid about, but the unruly little cretin ran out in front me, so really he ASKED for it. If he had been a good kid, and listened to his mom, it wouldn't have happened now WOULD it?

I carried on, on my war path, and rode my bike into one of these...

Except, well, it wasn't JUST one of those, it was one of THESE pushing one of those...

Yeah now THIS one I do really feel bad about, no sny comments or anything (she was walking kind of SLOW but I guess that wasn't her fault). I just nudged her zimmer frame, she didn't actually get hurt or anything. I'm the one that got hurt, I slammed on brakes and fell off to avoid going RIGHT into her, what a cost. But yes, poor little granny, she just got a bit of a fright.

I proceeded to drop a box of eggs on the floor, leave my wallet at the till and fall down the stairs.

It's been a SWELL day, it really, TRULY has. I think it's best for me, and the entire universe that I just call it a day and retire to my bedroom...

mah birthday

Despite the trauma that turning TWENTY FIVE brought with it, I had a remarkably good day. I woke up to the smell of fresh coffee and chocolate croissants, the captain knows me too well. I cycled to the train station and got the train to Nice where I met a friend for coffee and then went SHOPPING.

It started off with just a few tops and some pretty stationery and then it got worse and worse until I was in an absolute shopping frenzy; heart racing, palms sweating, money flying out of my purse and that horrible shopper's guilt that I'm all too familiar with, that guilty feeling you get in the pit of your stomach everytime you buy something... but none of that stopped me. I worked my way up to the fujifilm instax mini 7s polaroid camera and a couple boxes of film even though my plan was to buy it on ebay for half the price, I just couldn't wait. I was unstoppable. I walked into the Benefit makeup shop and I went a bit bananas, personally I blame the sales lady, she was just SO damn persuasive, even though she was speaking to me in French she still managed to sell me some very expensive foundation, mascara and eyeliner. Naughty French lady. I cycled home, cheekily took a few bottles of wine from the cellar and went over to the boat next to us to celebrate. We carried on drinking on our boat and then proceed to get on our bikes and CYCLE to Juan les Pins, in our state. I don't know if drinking and cycling is illegal, but I really think it should be. To say that I was a bit of a hazard is an understatement. We eventually got there (alive) and went to Pam Pam, that awesome, vibey Brazillian bar where they serve the ridiculously cool cocktails. I understand how peculiar this sounds but there's this Brazillian dancer there that I'm ABSOLUTELY intrigued by, in a completely non lezza way, she just has the most interesting and astonishingly beautiful face I've ever seen and she's SO good at dancing. Okay now that I've said that out loud it does kind of sound a bit strange, and borderline lezza, but I'm willing to live with that. ANYWAYS... we carried on cycling to Antibes where we met up with some friends, ended up falling asleep on top of a roof looking over all the boats with a hamburger in our hands... TOTAL success. We woke up, a bit dazed and confused, realised where we were, got on our bikes and made our way back to Golfe Juan, with a little pit stop in between to run onto the beach, get completely naked and jump into the sea. It was 4.30am and back onto our bikes, completely wet and sandy and a quick ride back to the boat. So, that was my 25th birthday. It's now Sunday and I have some post-birthday blues but I still have my little polaroid camera to play with and my chocolates to eat and my pretty flowers to look at. I have a crazy week ahead of me, the sailing charter starts on Wednesday and i'm starting to get a bit nervous. But, c'est la vie... come what may.

on turning TWENTY FIVE...

Now, I think turning 25 is going to be quite a traumatic experience. I mean, 25 is pretty OLD. It's the kind of age where people look at you and start thinking that maybe you should have a REAL job, and a husband and some children and a guinea pig and a casserole dish. ME, I have NONE of those but to be honest, right now, the casserole dish is the only thing out of that lot that I really want, and maybe the guinea pig but only if it's really small and cute and doesn't stink and travels well in a suitcase.

Anyways, yes, turning 25 is not going to be easy, so to console myself and ease the pain I have come up with a list of things that you can all buy me. Now, I've gone to a lot of trouble to ensure you know EXACTLY what I want and have put corresponding images of each item so as to make it easier for you, I'm just thoughtful like that...

So, number 1 on the list, is a scooter, a pale blue, vintage scooter. Just like this one. it doesn't even have to be a Vespa or anything...

But if you can only find a pink one then that will be okay too, I won't even be cross.

Number 2, a pink polaroid camera with lots of  extra film...

EXACTLY like this one (please). If you can't find that one, which I suspect might be the case then you can buy me this one... they're the latest out and very cute too...

These ones come with loads of accessories, like little leather albums and a special pen to write on the pictures and all sorts of cases and lenses and OOOOOOH I WANT iiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, please.

Uh, next. Number 3. I would like a horse, one that can give hugs , just like this one

I think's that all

WAIT, I've thought of something else...

I'd like a 3 year urrr gift voucher (?) to The Silwood School of Cookery in Cape Town or Le Cordon Bleu in Paris where I'd live somewhere like THIS

Okay, well, there you have it, my birthday wish list, if perhaps you feel I might be asking a bit much, then a beautiful bunch of flowers and a cupcake or a bonsai panda will be just fine.

28 July
That's when I turn 25. Just so you know. You still have six days.